The world does not have to change because you feel a certain way…learn to check yourself

Navigating the Complex World of Feelings: A Therapist’s Perspective

It’s been a week since my last post, a lapse I attribute to the busyness of life and its inevitable distractions. As a licensed therapist, I too experience moments of deviation from my goals – a reminder that behavior change often follows a ‘two steps forward, one step back’ pattern. Getting back on track is part of the journey, and it’s what I’m doing with this post.

Feelings are Personal Responsibilities Recently, I’ve encountered a recurring theme in videos sent to me: the notion that one’s feelings are the responsibility of others. Professionally, I must assert that your feelings are your responsibility, not anyone else’s. While feelings are valid, they are not facts; they are messages that require processing.

For instance, I might feel foolish for missing an easy question on a test, yet the reality is that I scored 99%. I could feel like a zombie after staying up all night playing Resident Evil, but let’s be real – zombies are fictional. Or, I might feel paranoid thinking my girlfriend is plotting against me. In such cases, it’s crucial to verify these feelings before taking any drastic steps. Treating feelings as facts can lead to impulsive actions, which at best might be harmless, but at worst, can have life-altering consequences.

Feelings vs. Facts: Understanding the Difference

• Processing Emotions: When we experience strong feelings, it’s crucial to pause and analyze them. This involves assessing whether our emotional responses are appropriate or need reevaluation.
• The Vagueness of Feelings: Emotions can be vague, and the thoughts accompanying them are often irrational. Reacting impulsively to every emotion can lead to irrational and impulsive behavior.

Studies and Data Supporting Rational Emotional Processing

• Emotional Intelligence Research: Studies in emotional intelligence suggest that individuals who can identify, understand, and manage their emotions are better equipped for personal and professional success.
• The Danger of Impulsivity: Psychological research indicates that impulsivity, the act of reacting without thought to emotional triggers, can lead to negative outcomes in both personal and social contexts.

Case Examples and Practical Advice

• Scenario Analysis: We’ll examine scenarios where processing emotions led to healthier outcomes than impulsive reactions.
• Practical Steps for Emotional Management: Tips include journaling, mindfulness practices, and seeking professional help when needed.

Conclusion As we navigate our emotional landscape, it’s vital to remember that our feelings, while valid, are messages that require careful processing. The responsibility lies with us to interpret and respond to these feelings appropriately. If you’re struggling to manage your emotional responses, consider reaching out for professional guidance. And remember, the path to improved behavior is as much about the effort and journey as it is about the destination.