My Stalker and Me


Raymond Navarro MS

A couple of years ago I was put in a difficult situation and I had to hurt someone. I did not want to hurt that person, but I will always choose my kids first, I am getting ahead of myself. You should know that I get along with most people, after all I would be a horrible counselor if I did not know how to make nice. That being said when people do not like me, they really don’t like me. I get it though. My ex-wife till this day thinks I cheated on her and my stalker, lets call him Jim, thinks that I wanted his kid to be taken from him by DCF. I would be super mad too if I thought one of my oldest friends was trying to keep me from my baby. The only issue that I have is that both of those accusations are insane. To the point that I have even started thinking there might be some bipolar-ish behavior going on.

I don’t think my ex is bipolar, super depressed and refuses to take responsibility for anything maybe, but bipolar is doubtful. Now Jim on the other hand, let’s just say one night I overheard him yelling at his mom saying that “black people are trying to take over the government so that they can put white people in concentration camps”. Just FYI, I overheard this after he already hated me, so it could have just been theatre to freak me out, but not sure. Did I mention that I was roommates with Jim?

So about two years ago I had the opportunity to move in with one of my best friends. I have known this guy since high school, a “ride or die” type friend. I put my ass on the line a few times and in fairness he did so for me to. The countless fights we have been in together could have set a record on its own if I am being honest. I jumped at the chance, I knew it would be an hour drive and pretty damn expensive, but how could I lose out on the chance to live with a brother?

Fasts forward a few months and even though things are not going as well as expected it did have its moments. Then one day I’m talking to my ex about the kids and she agrees that she will give me 50/50 custody, without a fight I might add, but that I had to provide them with their own room. Which unfortunately I did not have at the time. However, it’s an amazing goal and something that I was ecstatic to tell my brother Jim. At first, he was happy for me, we even had a drink together and toasted to better times. I’m not sure what or how the next thing happened but Jim decided to call what was my biggest foe at the moment, my ex-wife, the woman that still hated me and thought I cheated on her.  

You may have guessed that that particular conversation did not go well. When Jim confronted her on my happy news, she of course denied it and said that the only reason I was moving out is so that I could screw him with the lease and move in with my new, young and hot, girlfriend. Exactly what a 20-year-old friend would do (insert sarcasm here). When I heard this my little therapist brain just started spinning.

I couldn’t understand why Jim would think I would do that to him but at the same time I could empathize with him due to the struggle I had just laid at his feet. I knew that no matter what he believed I had just made his future much harder. Either way I had to go. I told him the paperwork had not been signed, I told him I had not found a place to live in yet, and he knew that I did not have the down payment for a home, and yet he acted as if it had already occurred. The truth is that had I wanted to I probably could have waited or stalled a couple of extra months just so that he wouldn’t have gotten screwed in the lease. The thing is once he turned on me, I had no choice but to get out as quickly as possible. Every night I had to lock myself in the room worried he might finally snap. Now mind you at this point I already had 20 years of martial arts under my belt and I carried a .38 on me every day, but the last thing I wanted to do was hurt my “brother”. That is how naïve I was at that time.

I’m not sure why I didn’t see it. He had already turned on the people at his job, he had already turned on his sister, and whenever something bad happened to him he would point the finger and go on a “revenge run”. He even asked me to be involved at times, but that was too much, and I said no. Which of course upset him but that s not important right now.

Long story short, or shorter, is that I eventually got out of the dungeon I had made for myself and I have been happily reunited with my children very far away from my hometown of Miami. At times I have had to go back to Miami for family or friend parties and Jim’s name has been brought up. He kept spreading the lie he so easily accepted . I even lost a good friend because of him, a friend Jim hated, which is insane to me. But even with all that I stayed quiet, I made it clear that I thought Jim was ill and that I have no hatred or anger for him. Was I upset that a friend, a man, would call another man’s wife and spread lies? Sure, who wouldn’t be? But I chalked it up to insanity and moved on.

Fast forward to this morning at 2am and I get a call from an old friend. I could already tell it was going to be one of these come to Jesus moments, it wasn’t my first time after all, and then this old friend drops a bomb. Not only has Jim not gotten over me leaving two years ago but that he is on a mission to “hurt” me. My friend goes on to say that Jim has developed a plan to infiltrate my family and destroy me from the inside. That his plan to do this starts with formulating a relationship with a relative of mine. My friend tells me the name of the relative and then there was a moment of silence between us. When the silence broke all I noticed is that I was laughing so hard that my cheeks were starting to hurt.

I know that laughing about a stalker infiltrating my family by taking advantage of my sick cousin sexually isn’t supposed to be funny but if you ever needed proof of karma, there it is. My “relative”, which will remain nameless because the poor girl really does have enough issues, is the type of person that will drive poor Jim to the next level. Its like if he’s punishing himself at this point. Not only that, I stopped talking to that relative almost a decade ago because I didn’t want her around my kids.

Its been a few hours since I found out and I started thinking maybe there was some danger involved for my family members. Anybody that would do that to some poor girl wouldn’t have any issues robbing the house she lives in, my grandmother’s house by the way. I called a couple relatives including my mother to just warn her about the possible incursion. Every person I called, hysterical laughter. I’m starting to feel really bad for Jim.

With all that said we are now in the present. Part of me wants to make some popcorn and watch the show but the overthinker in me is concerned this guy is never going to stop. Its quite possible this nutjob will blame me for his failed relationship with my “relative” or even worse he may be stuck with her forever. Either way my writers block is now officially over, and I expect there to be at least one more update on this topic. My question to all the amazing readers is, what should I do? Should I set off the alarms and let everyone know? Or should I just sit back and watch what happens next? Either way we will find out soon.

Published by NavarroCounseling

Ten years experience working in mental health. Experience with children and adults ages 5 and up. I believe that a healthy balance in life and finding your purpose is the key to finding happiness. Available for telehealth, in office, and in home therapy.

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